At its core, childcare is labor. There is a “bonding” element in it, but it’s labor.
A newborn baby needs to be fed every 2-3 hours. Every feeding takes 30-45 minutes or so to finish the chores (feed, burp, change diapers), then depending on how sleepy the baby is, another 15-45 minutes to get him to sleep.
This means 1-1.5 hours of work, then you get a “down time” rest of 1.5-2 hours, then next cycle…
That’s 33% to 50% of an adult’s time, if one adult takes care of one baby. Sleep not included.
We have been stretching the cycle time to 3-4 hours from Wesley’s first week. Fortunately, he seems to have a big belly and can consistently hold more milk than the 2-3 oz guideline amount, and sleep longer at night from the very beginning. Still, it’s a lot of work and very tiring from time to time, especially when he is fussing and only calms down after being held, or when he uses up his energy.
I think the society paints a rosy picture for family and bonding and etc, to make people feel better and feel childcare labor tolerable. There is certainly an amazing element to raise a kid and watches them change on a weekly basis. But still, labor is labor.
It is also a huge distraction and a crazy amount of interruptions. I cannot imagine getting nearly as productive for work as I was while I’m on childcare duty.
I start understanding why childcare is so expensive, because it is a lot of labor. The only way to make childcare affordable is for society/government to subsidize it.